Read Ice Angel's blog <Link>
Here is her latest post.
Hmmm. Girls out there, how well do you treat your boyfriend/the person you like? Are you more of xiao-nu-ren always listening/giving in to him, treating him like a treasure, or are you da-nu-ren, stubborn, tempered, and always the one receiving love more than giving?
I used to be the xiao nu ren type. I always give in to my boyfriends, even if I feel that I'm correct. i always put them as first priority, but always losing out in the end with them dumping me or two timing or three timing, or lose feelings, or change heart -.-
Then i learnt my lesson. I started standing up for whatever i think is right. I would not give in if i don't want to. I would always want to get my way. I would force myself not to fall hard for the guy (no matter how much i wish to). Every start of a new relationship, i would tell myself to build a wall around me and him, don't love him too much. Best is bo-chup, convince myself that he's not important at all.
That worked. When i am less serious in a guy, the guy on the other hand chased me like mad. They would give in for all quarrels, and treated me like a princess. I started believing this theory and put it to use for every single relationship. Yes, almost all the recent ones. I always have the thinking that "if i don't love them, they can't hurt me."
However, sometimes i feel a bit of emptiness within me. Everything feels so fake. I felt that i protected myself too much and would never be able to taste the real flavour of how a sizzling relationship should be. By building a wall around me, i forbid myself to love or sacrifice for a man. So what's the use of having a guy who loves you when you don't love him back?
But then, if I'm too good to the guy, the guy would always take me for granted and then I'll be the one hurt in the end.
I don't know which to choose: Love and be hurt, or don't love and feel empty.
Why can't there be a case of me liking the guy and the guy liking me back as much? I don't think i ever had such a relationship.
And this is what i feel.
I have been with my bf for 2.5 yrs already, and things have been going rather smoothly. If you guys still didnt know, he is 6 yrs older than me. I know him when i was 16, and he is 22. It might look like a big gap now, but as soon as i pass my 20, it wont be. We dont have any communication problem, we talked about every single details in our life. As i am the quiet type, whenever there is argument and i choose to keep my thoughts inside me. But i dont have why, he always managed to force it out of me. And that all keep our relationship going strong. I guess communication is the key point to keep the relationship going.
I wont deny I am the 'xiao nu ren' type and my bf is kind of the 'da nan ren' kind. But this works for us. Although sometimes i gotta give in to him, but its alright, as long as i know that he loves me as much as i love him. It does not matter if u are the "xiao nu ren" or "da nu ren" or is he the "da nan ren" or "xiao nan ren". As long as it work out for u.
Building a wall around yourself will not help in the relationship. You want the guy to understand and love u back. And if u are the "xiao nu ren" kind, keep giving in to ur bf and end up realising that he is cheating on you or taking you for granted, you should then know that this guy is not a keeper.
There are many phases of life, let your the other half join in. Sometimes do something new together. Or something still surprise the other person with some sweet gesture. All these will keep the relationship interesting.
Well i know, my bf appreciate me. Its a two way thing, both of us work hard to keep this relationship strong and sweet at the same time. I must say, its hard to find someone u like that likes u back. But i found mine and i am happy with the way its going right now and i try my best to keep it going as long as possible.